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Profiles Of Jackassery – Thirteen Candidates With The Stink Of Oil Tycoons Wafting From Their Pocket Linings

Only twelve days left until Election Day, which is a perfect time to cover LCV’s Dirty Dozen List. Each year LCV publishes a handy list of the politicians most beholden to the gas and oil barons that pull the strings and govern our country from their secret villain’s lair deep inside the volcanic crater of Mount St. Helens. With LCV’s help, half of these Congress members got voted out of office. They recently published their Dirty Dozen list 2006.

The LCV’s website somewhat confusingly breaks these folks down into The Oil Slick Seven and assorted other riffraff without a cool gang name, but I’m willing to come up with one right now. How about The Gas Guzzling Gang. Or The Non-Fab Five. Or The Sinkhole Cinco.

Actually, these wouldn’t work because there’s only four remaining members. Perhaps one of them got stabbed with a shiv in a rumble. You don’t mess with the Oil Slick Seven. Especially if you don’t even have a cool gang name. A more likely explanation, provided by LCV, is that Reps. Bob Ney and Tom Delay were removed since they withdrew from their races. But that adds up to thirteen. Seriously, LCV – what the fuck?

To try and clarify matters, I’ll profile one candidate per day over the next twelve days, so that you can take notes and become a wiser voting citizen.

Posted by frank on October 26, 2006 03:34 PM |

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