First, the good news - the most insidious proposition on the ballot, Prop 90’s “Eminent Domain” initiative that would allow property owners to stop any land protection with a flood of lawsuits, went down in flames. I don’t know if losing 52%-47% actually means a prop literally bursts into flames as it goes down, but I like to picture that’s what happened. I like to picture Prop 90 exploding in mid air and raining sparks and smoking ruins down on the fancy condominiums of Howie Rich (the New York real estate magnate behind it.) This is a classic example of how deceptive the wording of these “bait and switch” propositions can be, and how crucial it is to research something before you sign off on it. Just because the smiling aliens have a book called “To Serve Man,” doesn’t mean they come in peace. That shit’s a cookbook, my friend.
Prop 84, the $5.4 billion parks and water bond, passed, ensuring that no matter how dry and desert-like and drought-prone Southern California becomes, we’ll always have enough H2O for Raging Waters water park in San Dimas.
And there will be no tax on oil companies to fund alternative energy research. Al Gore, Bill Clinton, and Julia Roberts weren’t enough star muscle to pass Prop 87. Not when Chevron was behind the opposition. Okay, California, if you like Chevron so much, let’s see Chevron star opposite Richard Gere in the next charming Gary Marshall rom-com. Let’s see Chevron win you over with its trademark toothy smile! Fat chance.
]]>
“I love doing sequels,” Gov. Schwarzenegger said last night after his landslide victory over Phil Angelides. Which makes this second term for the governor sort of like Conan The Destroyer. Which sucked. That's the one with Grace Jones. Lame.
Environmentalists, along with sane people, had much to rejoice over yesterday’s election results, as the House fell solidly in Democratic hands and the Senate hanging in the balance by literally a few thousand votes. Of the LCV’s notorious “Dirty Dozen” candidates (of which there was a total of fifteen – don’t ask me why,) TEN were unseated and two more are still too close to call. (Strangely enough, I profiled both of those candidates together in one entry. Is it a coincidence? The incredible and mysterious sway that Sludgie holds over the populace? My secret ability to predict the future revealing itself, which until now only manifested in the sloppy paintings of cheerleaders and Japanese guys I made in angry, alcoholic isolation in my Manhattan apartment? You’ll never know…)
Hey, all - so the big day has arrived. Here is a quick summary of the environmental issues and ballot measures I've covered, to help you be a highly informed voting citizen:
If old and poor people can’t afford heat in the winter months, it must be the oil and gas companies that need assistance. At least, that’s apparently the assumption of Sen. Conrad Burns (MT,) who voted against heating assistance programs for the poor and elderly but voted to extend tax credits for the energy industry during its record-breaking $32 billion windfall. Maybe it’s just that Conrad doesn’t really like people. After all, he also campaigned vigorously against a ban on human testing of pesticides, questioning, “Do you stop a whole industry?” Wow. Isn’t that a quote from Abraham Lincoln, about abolishing slavery? Oh wait… I might be wrong about that...
Is there any point in writing about Rep. Katherine Harris (FL?) There’s virtually no way she could win her campaign for Senate, because, as LCV pointed out, she flip-flopped on offshore drilling. Oh yeah, she also claimed that not voting for Christians will “legislate sin,” took bribes from the same guy as Rep. “Weepy” Duke Cunningham, has gone through more campaign staffers than Spinal Tap has drummers, stood in profile for an entire Hannity and… Who Cares appearance so her ample bustline could answer questions for her, and is so erratic one of her campaign managers programmed his cell phone to ring with the theme from The Exorcist when she called. Possibly the only thing she has going for her is that the Republican Party won’t endorse her as a candidate (and these days, who wants to be associated with those guys?)
Prop 84 is a bond to raise $5.4 billion to acquire public lands for recreation, improve state parks, restore wildlife habitat, protect water quality, and boost flood control. Mostly it’s about water. According to the website, less than 1% of our state budget goes to protecting water resources. And yet, California uses a massive amount of water per year: for spa treatments, backyard jacuzzis, restaurant patio misters, coffee enemas, and those wonderfully green lawns sprouting up in the middle of what is clearly a fucking desert. Where else but California would you find Liquid Om, the bottled water company that uses the “principles of sound therapy to infuse purified water to the frequency of the earth as it revolves around the sun, a specific vibration that is expressed in meditation circles by the mantra Om?”
Sometimes a prop gets funded that seems so outrageous it makes you stare at the ballot and say how can they do that? Case in point is Proposition 90, which rattles the scarecrow of eminent domain and goes “Boooooooooo!” while secretly dismantling local and state government’s ability to do practically anything useful to the community at all. Its theory is that people are so scared the government is going to snatch up their house to allow a luxury hotel to build on their land, they’ll approve a prop that would sell their first born into slavery.
Today we have a Two-For-Toolsday offering of oil and gas industry tools, Rep. Heather Wilson (NM) and Sen. George Allen (VA.) When Rep. Heather Wilson was asked about lowering arsenic levels in drinking water, she said the lower level was “wrong-headed and based on bad science.” She has voted pro-pollution at every turn (arsenic, no on MTBE cleanup, no on fuel efficiency,) believing no toxic mess nasty enough to force a corporation to spend their hard-earned profits cleaning up after themselves.
Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) is such a fan of his idea of God that he can’t stop pushing his idea of God’s agenda in his political career, including the “Santorum Amendment” to the No Child Left Behind bill, which, if it had passed, would have promoted teaching intelligent design in public schools. But while Richie looks around at the placid lakes, forests and marshes of Pennsylvania and considers their design intelligent, he doesn’t consider them his idea of God’s best work. That was his idea of God’s later stuff, after he sold out, and Rick is totally a fan from the early days, not some poseur. Richie prefers the fossil fuels that are underneath those ho-hum marshes and forests that come from the remains of dinosaurs that didn’t really exist.
Only twelve days left until Election Day, which is a perfect time to cover LCV’s Dirty Dozen List. Each year LCV publishes a handy list of the politicians most beholden to the gas and oil barons that pull the strings and govern our country from their secret villain’s lair deep inside the volcanic crater of Mount St. Helens. With LCV’s help, half of these Congress members got voted out of office. They recently published their Dirty Dozen list 2006.